


Love the Ones who Don't Love Us

by emperorpenguin (dortmundbvbbabe)



Series: Maybe You Could Love Me Too [4]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Canonical injury, M/M, Nolan's concussion, Travis's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-16 03:56:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13045977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dortmundbvbbabe/pseuds/emperorpenguin
Summary: Ivan's still reeling from Nolan's rejection, that much is clear. It doesn't help that the Flyers are off to a rough start for the season and Travis is still mired in his unrequited love. Nevertheless, he works with what he has and tries to make the start of the season just a little bit easier on Ivan.





	Love the Ones who Don't Love Us

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a filler for the next part(s) of the series to set the stage for what will happen. I hope you enjoy this installment!!

There was a detante in the locker room that thankfully had yet to cross over onto the ice. Ivan and Nolan maintained a professional distance, though Nolan’s response was solely out of respect for Ivan’s hurt. Travis had caught him several times trying to carve out time, if only to talk, but Ivan was quick to shrug him off, Nolan’s face always crumpled afterwards and Travis knew that this was the last thing that Nolan wanted. It was enough of an adjustment to move to a new city, but it was even more of an adjustment losing your best friend on the team.

It wasn’t to say that they were having much success on the ice either, they weren’t terrible, but they weren’t clicking as explosively as had been hoped. Frustration and tension rolled off of Ivan after another game that they almost won. Travis gently rested his hand on Ivan’s back, trying to soothe him, if only slightly, but Ivan just shrugged him off. The gesture seemed to surprise both of them and Travis flinched by the rejection.

“Sorry,” Ivan said. 

They went through the media’s questions, thankfully neither of them had much to answer for, and showered off. 

“My place?” Ivan asked. Travis paused for a moment wondering if it would be best for them to go their separate ways, but in the end, he agreed. He was a few minutes behind Ivan, giving him just enough time to unlock the door and shrug out of his suit.

Travis was surprised when Ivan let him in, still fully clothed, though in comfier sweatpants and a loose T-shirt. As if sensing Travis’s confusion, Ivan said, “I didn’t want to assume…”

Travis smiled, “Like that’s ever stopped you before.” He had ditched his suit jacket in the car, but still seemed dressed oddly formal compared to Ivan.

“I just didn’t know if you were interested…”

“Because you snapped at me?” Travis asked.

“Yeah,” Ivan said. “I’m sorry for that, too.”

“What’s going on?” Travis asked, “You know I’m on your side.”

“I just hate this,” Ivan said. “Things were supposed to change.” In all honesty, Travis wasn’t sure if Ivan was talking about the team or about Nolan. He buried his face in his hands and for a moment Travis thought he was crying again. “And then this fucking team…” He laughed bitterly. 

They weren’t a trainwreck, that was last year, but they weren’t good either. It wasn’t that Travis didn’t share the same frustrations, but he knew that he was part of the problem. Ivan- Ivan wasn’t. If anything he was the hope that they could improve. “You and me, we’ll change this team,” Travis said. 

“Don’t say that,” Ivan said.

“Why?” Travis said.

“You don’t know what will happen,” Ivan replied, “They could trade either of us at any moment.”

“They’re not going to trade you,” Travis said. “And even though this isn’t how I imagined things, I love this team and I will do everything in my power to stay here.”

For the first time in awhile, a genuine smile quirked at Ivan’s lips, “Promise.”

“I promise,” Travis said.

 

That afternoon, they didn’t end up having sex. It was on the table and both of them wouldn’t have minded, but it seemed to cheapen the conversation. It was times like this that Travis thought that he could be satisfied with this whatever he and Ivan had. Just by being next to Ivan like this, watching TV together, maybe one day Travis could learn to be content with that. But he knew he was too greedy, he wanted all that Ivan could give him and what they had would never be enough. Travis looked at Ivan, the other man unaware that he was being watched. Travis’s feelings seemed too obvious, almost everyone on the team had probably wondered, even the ones who didn’t know for sure one way or another that they were sleeping together had probably thought about it once. Maybe Ivan knew and was just sparing him, if everybody else knew how would Ivan not know? But Travis knew that Ivan only had eyes for Nolan. Travis wasn’t even on his radar in that way so how would Ivan know.  

“What?” Ivan asked, and Travis snapped out of his musing after being caught.

Travis shook his head, “Nothing.”

“Thanks,” Ivan said. 

“For what?” Travis asked. 

“Just, what you said earlier,” Ivan answered. “I appreciate it.” Ivan smiled gently at him and Travis knew it would never be enough. He was too selfish for that. 

 

The thing was, Ivan covered up pain well. There were times when Travis saw his body raw, exposed, riddled with bruises after Ivan had taken blocked shots and hard hits without so much as a wince. He once asked Ivan about this, but Ivan had just shrugged, “They stop hurting eventually, besides I have a pretty high pain tolerance.” Travis had rolled his eyes, sure they all got bruises and aches and were sore throughout most of the season, but even he complained. Looking at Ivan now, Travis knew that it wasn’t just the physical pain that Ivan was good at hiding. After a little while, he began to talk to Nolan again. Nothing too personal or too deep, but beyond the normal greetings and platitudes. If he didn’t know better, Travis would have thought that it was a sign of a distant friendship, that maybe in the year apart Ivan and Nolan had just become different people, but Travis knew better. Ivan could hide the pain, but there would be telltale signs that he was injured. 

This time it came when Nolan got injured.

It hardly seemed fair that after a summer of fighting doubts surrounding his hernia surgeries that Nolan would get injured. Travis was on the ice, lost in the chaos of the play until it was stopped and Travis surveyed the ice. Nolan was off to the side, collapsed on the ice and Travis’s stomach churned in distress.  _ Get up, get up _ , he hoped, but when the trainer rushed out on the ice and Nolan wasn’t getting up Travis knew it was bad. 

He carefully gave them space as he was helped off the ice by Jori and the trainer. The entire bench just seemed stunned and angry by the sudden turn of events. Nolan had been doing so well. But Ivan was beyond the normal concern for a teammate, he looked devastated. While everybody was focused on Nolan and nobody was paying attention to Ivan except for Travis.

It was times like this that Travis was forced to remember that despite Ivan’s hurt, he was still in love with Nolan, no rejection would change that. 

  
  
  



End file.
